Finding Myself in the Midst of Depression

The Before

My name is Lissette. I do not grow weary of sharing my testimony with people because it not only helps those in need but it continues to teach me many things about life and points me straight to my God. It’s been 5 years since my major depression and since then I’ve had one more. During those times I went through what I though would never end. I was always tired, wanted to sleep all the time and couldn't wait for the night to come. I was irritable, constantly crying,  anxiety and fear filled my very core, I felt like a burden to others, I felt ashamed, I isolated myself, couldn’t enjoy anything, felt hopeless, had thoughts of suicide, couldn't concentrate, I lost too much weight, couldn't eat, bathe, or do anything around the house. I felt like a failure. I felt like a walking zombie devoid of any feelings. Now I know these are all signs of  major depression. It was beyond my understanding. I grew up in a lovely home with everything I needed so it didn't stem from any trauma.  In my case it is more of genetics as depression and anxiety does run in my family and I've experienced varying levels of depression and pervasive social anxiety growing up.  

Before my major depression, about 10 years ago, at the age of 21 I had tried so hard to work on my social anxiety by going to doctors, therapists, self-help books, finding a new church/community group, trying to work on my social skills and of course praying. I did have times when I felt better but the social anxiety was pervasive (always there from a very young age) and prevented me from forming friendships, going places and enjoying life. It was hard but I somehow finished graduate school. I didn't know much about depression and anxiety then but I now know I dealt with that from a very young age. Since the age of 11 I remember being prayed for and  praying to God to “make me bold”. God didn't heal me then. Thankfully, after I was able to get out of the major depression God was able to restore what I had and much more. 

 Losing myself in the storm

Depression even tried robbing me of my faith. I grew up learning God has plans for me but at this time I couldn't see it nor believe it anymore. There were only a few people that knew what was going on, yet they didn't truly understand because they had never gone through it. During this time I had to quit my job, I lost touch with the whole world except my immediate family, one friend and occasional people who came to pray for me. I lost everything I had worked for. I stopped going to my new church/community group, all the muscle I had once religiously built at the gym was gone, I lost any social skills I had gained. I thought I’d never be able to recover what I fought so hard for. I truly identified with Job from the Bible at this time but didn't yet have his unwavering faith.  

What kept me from taking my own life 5 years ago were the prayers of people around me specially my mother, the thought of leaving my mother and family suffering, or ending up on life support if my attempt went wrong.

 God reaching out

My mom would drag me to Tuesday prayers. I was in so much emotional pain that I would sit on the bench and look up ways on my phone on how I could go home and end it all.  I’m glad my mom didn't give up on me as God sustained her. On a Tuesday Prayer night I started speaking to God and I said, “God I cant live anymore, I don’t want to, I can’t see why I should,”and as a worship song started the words I repeated were, “to worship you I live, to worship you I live, I live to worship you”. And, in that very moment there was small amount of hope ignited back into my heart. I realized that nothing else really mattered more than living for God. That I could hold on to that. The pain was still there but I was determined to live and feel again. 

Shortly after, I was able to find a good therapy place (always praying that God use the doctors, therapists and medications to help me get better). With the help of my family, few friends I confided in, professionals and above all God and for his Glory he pulled me out from my anxiety, fear and depression. In less than a week I woke up, looked out the window and could again see in color. I started to enjoy life like I never had before.

Finding myself and healing in the Lord

The things I had prayed for growing up like being able to love myself and people, not being full of fear and enjoying life were all things God finally gave me. At the age of 31 I now live a life that is fullfiling. It doesn't mean that I don’t have my lows at times but I have learned to manage it, I have learned to communicate what I am going through to those I trust and trust that God will is with me through it all.

It is important to surround ourselves with our bothers and sisters. To rest when we have to. To not be so hard on ourselves. Each of us have our own battles, what may be big for me may be small for you and vice versa. We all have different stories but one God. God wants us to live for him. If we ever feel like there is nothing to live for, like things are not going as we want them to or as they should we have to remember that our sole purpose is to worship him and be more like him. God never shuts one door without opening another in due time. God readies us and in the perfect moment the fog will lift and God will carry us to where we should be.

We need God. We chase things in life and God permits it. But I’ve learned that these are not the things that truly matter. The one thing that matters most to God is that we become more like God. That our character is more like God’s wherever we are in life. But things like depression and anxiety hinder our ability to be more like Him.

If we take care of our mental health and/or if God grants us with healing then we will be able to love, be kind, have faith, be like Him and reveal God in us to others. Always examine yourself. Listen to counsel. You don’t get better unless you find out what is wrong with you. After you find out you must work to get better. Find those resources that will help you. And one day God may heal you entirely but that is not up to us.

I leave a few verses that synthesize what God does with our pain and that his promises are true:

Instead of your shame
    you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
    you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
    and everlasting joy will be yours.

Isaiah 61:7 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

  Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Romans 12:12:13

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Timothy 4:7

Love,

Lissette

Jesus Loves me, this I know...

You might be familiar with that childhood song we all learn growing up in church, “Jesus, loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so...” You can sing along to the rest of the lyrics so easily, right? We go through our childhood and perhaps through our adolescence believing this but not really feeling it. Singing it, but not experiencing it. Let me tell to you those moments I where I understood and automatically knew that Jesus does really love me.

I was a little girl when this happened. The only thing I can remember from that experience is a red polka dot dress. I remember it had so much material that it covered my face and I couldn’t breathe.  That itchy material made my skin so irritated. I hate puffy princess dresses for that reason.  It brings me back to that horrific moment when my abuser took advantage of my innocence, my childhood, my weakness to do that, sexually abuse me as a child. 

He made me put on my sister’s dress. To this moment, I don’t understand why.  Did I become her for a moment? The only thing that brings me peace in such a strange way is that I am relieved that it wasn’t her. That she did not suffer. That she wasn’t the one getting molested. A few months ago I found a photo of my sister wearing that dress. I asked my mom how old my sister was, she said 4. I broke down. All of my life I thought I was older since I remember it so clearly. I was just 4 years old. But, viewing myself as hero and not a victim has brought me healing. Why do I say that? I say it because growing up I learned to cope with my trauma through music.  

Music healed me.

I remember my first encounter with music. I found my father’s mariachi tapes and I fell in love with those vocals. I learned to sing on my own. I signed up for violin lesson. I feel that as a child, playing music blocked my trauma and those memories. 

It wasn’t until high school when the memories and flashbacks started to manifest. I wasn’t sure If I was dreaming or if it was real. Whenever I experienced pain, disappointment, heartbreak, rejection, I somehow related those feelings with my experience. Until one day I attempted to take my own life by overdosing. Thankfully, my mother caught me and made me throw up. I’m alive and I am living a good life. Sometimes my dad would find me crying in my room. I couldn’t tell him why.  I didn’t want my parents to feel guilty because they didn’t protect me.  Instead, I just went to God. I knew there was someone out there, that wasn’t going to judge me and that he would keep my secret. I began to write my own songs. I learned to play guitar at 14 and since then I write songs that bring me healing.

Jesus Healed me.

Music was a tool for healing. However, the audience to my songs became the real healing. My audience was Jesus. Knowing that he was listening to me, touching my spirit, giving me those personal encounters you can only get in his presence was what Brough the most healing. He became my personal therapist and music my dialogue to him.  I remember once in 2009 my friend’s mom spoke to the women in my local church, I happened to be sitting on the last bench. The message was, "Cry out to Jesus, pour your heart out, tell him what is it that you want to get rid off, and ask him to make you new so that those scars you look at (the past) may be removed." Those words really impacted my life because that was exactly what I was going through. She gave a story of a young woman who was blessed every time she went to church, but when she would come back home this woman will feel the same pain she felt before going to church. It was something that she couldn't get rid of, a cycle that went on for years. This woman couldn't move forward because those childhood memories haunted her every night, there felt guilt, pain, suffering and trauma. But one day she got tired of carrying that pain within her and she said "enough! I need to move forward and get rid of this pain that would let me fulfill the promises GOD has for me." So the next day on women’s event she rushed to the altar. The preacher had not done an altar call and she did not care if the preacher laid hands on her or not. She went directly to God . She confessed all her struggles and she was pouring out her tears as she spoke to him out loud. She did not care if others were listening to her confession or watching her cry. There was something amazing happening to her, God was healing her heart and removing her scars. I realized that that woman was me. I did the same when I came home. God was healing me completely.  He had made me strong enough and bold to always go to him in times of struggle and pain.

After my healing the biggest blessing came down.

I always had felt unworthy of anyones love. I always thought no one would want this broken little girl. No one wants to deal with “drama.” A year later after my healing I met my husband. I understood, God want not going to send my husband until I was healed. I had asked him for that all my life. I would tell God please wait on my husband. I need to be healed. I want to be the best person. I never want to burden anyone with past hurt. I don’t want to bring baggage into a relationship. God did listen and God did exactly that!  A year after my heart and mind was healed, I met my husband. He happened to live across the country.  I remember making a list with my grandfather and asking him to help me pray for my future husband years before.  When I met my husband he had everything on that list. But I never told him about it until I framed it and placed it in our house last year.  God is so faithful. When my wedding day came God even sent a full rainbow. I teared that moment I saw it because of what a rainbow signifies, promise. God promised to me was that He would always sent people to make me feel loved and he would never let anyone break my heart again. My husband is amazing. I now enjoy traveling across the country whenever I want to see my family. I also have the cutest little boy in the world! That’s how much favor and blessings God can give you when you fall in love with God first. I don’t say it to boast about how good my life is, because it wasn’t always good. Sometimes I feel God is blessing me abundantly to make up for what happened to me as a child. I never blamed God for it. I always knew that evil existed and that evil people exist.  God has given us free will to do whatever we pleased. Some people chose to be evil. 

I am not saying that you will never encounter challenging situations and that God is going to make your life perfect after your healing.  I had a heartbreak just two years ago when I lost my grandfather and God healed me all over again. There are going to be moments when you do feel sad, lonely, anxious, and all those feelings that come along because of trauma, grief and loss. However, when you step into the throne of God boldly, all that its put to ease and you can continue to live and give. 

Never give up on yourself.  Never take away your life. You will have a better life. You will find healing and most of all you will always be LOVED by your Heavenly Father.  

Thank you for reading my story.

-Anonymous

P.S.

If ever find yourself in a similar situation, reach out for help. If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts you can call 1-800-273-8255 at anytime.

I am Loved more than I ever Knew

When I was 9 years old, I had to face the hardest and most confusing thing a child can go through. It was a warm afternoon after school. As my mother, sister and I walked into our home we saw huge hole in our living room wall where the tv used to hang. We continued in cautiously, my mom walked into her room and saw empty drawers, a half empty closet where my dads’ clothes used to hang. My mom and I were shoved into a reality that my dad had left and probably was not coming back. As we went to sleep that night I thought back on all the memories that I shared with my dad, all the times he made me feel loved, worth it, and cared about. The only question that came to my 9 year old brain was: “If he loved me and I was his princess, why did he leave?”

What is Love?

Before you continue… I want you to think about how many times you have said the word “love”. Did you say it towards someone, a movie, or even a random object in the store? When you said it did you mean it? When you said it did you think about the meaning of love? Love nowadays is a word that is just thrown around by people, without really meaning it. Love is the intense feeling of deep affection, as the dictionary describes it. During a Girls Only prayer night we had during the summer our mentor Judy asked us “What do you think love is?” I had never really thought about what love really truly was till she asked us that question. When I really thought about it I raised my hand to share. I think love is when you can trust in someone, be who you are around them, and someone who never leaves when things get hard. Almost everyone shared their own answers and each girl had their own definition based on their experiences. My definition came from my experience of having the one person who is supposed to love you leave.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Searching For Love

As humans, there’s a natural instinct to want love, to want affection, and to feel worthy. For me as a girl who went through what I went through, I felt unloved even though I had friends and family who did love me. For me having my dad leave made me feel like he didn’t love me and I wasn’t worth his love. I felt this way because if it was so easy for someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally just leave then it would be that much easier for everyone else to leave too. I went searching for love in all the wrong places, I searched for love in the wrong friends and in guys who made me feel special. Now in searching for love from guys that I thought loved me and I thought I loved them when I didn’t. I loved the idea of feeling special and feeling worthy of love. In this case I just got hurt more and resulted in feeling less loved. When in reality I should have been drawing closer to the one who loved me unconditionally, uncontrollably, and recklessly, God.

Believing I Was Loved

I started to believe that I was loved when I truly started to get to know God and who he is.  Being loved became a reality. I thought about how he loves me through my sins, he loves me through my bad times, through my good times, and he loves me for me. God made this known through his love letter to us which is his word, the Bible. I realized that no matter what I went through or how many times I pushed him away he never left. In Deuteronomy 31:8 it says “ The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  I did not feel loved overnight, it took me time to believe that I was loved. When I finally believed that I was loved, it was the best feeling I could ever experience. Being loved my God made me feel my worth. The reason for this is because the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords loves me for me. He knows me by name. I am his daughter and despite my shortcomings, I am still His and I am still LOVED.

If like me you have ever felt unloved, or worthless remember that you are loved and you are worth being loved. Don’t forget that he is always there even when you feel like he isn’t, no matter how much or how far you try and push him away he will never leave you. Once you have experienced God’s love, you will never want to go back to what you used to feel like.

“His love endures forever” Psalm 118:2

Love,

Brianna Ruiz

Let's be Honest About Commitment

 I’ve always been the type of person who never likes to commit. When someone asks me to do something or be part of something, instead of saying yes, I say “ Let me think about it”. It’s not a bad thing to think about something before doing it, but when my “Let me think about it” ALWAYS turns into “sorry I can’t, something else came up”, that's when it becomes a problem.

I’ve always had trouble committing. I still have trouble committing to a major in college, I have trouble committing to work sometimes and I especially have issues committing to things that I honestly don’t even really want to do, including church things and especially ministry.

I had to take a deeper look into myself, my relationships and the people around me and ask myself “Why can’t I say yes and just give my best?”. Nobody likes to be around someone who is flaky.

I found out that I was “Church Hurt”

I was so resentful of some of the people around me. There were times that I felt (even though I’m sure this wasn’t the intention, sometimes) that I felt belittled, treated unfairly and sometimes even ignored by people in the church that I had counted on. Why would I want to commit when these negative feelings were festering in my heart? This is something that I dealt with for many years. But God is good and he comes to mend our hurting heart.

For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. Romans 3:23

Recognizing that people are just people, and they will fail us, and believe or not, I have probably hurt and failed someone in the same way I have felt hurt and let-down. The best part about it is that God’s grace is sufficient enough to cover it both ways. Being resentful because someone failed us isn’t a good reason to pull away and be weary to commit. Instead, keep going and put our best foot forward because the Lord’s grace covers us AND them.

I found out that I was INSECURE

Insecurity use to (and sometimes still does) attack me in the worst way. Sometimes I feel insecure because I feel someone or some people can do or serve in a better way than me. Sometimes I feel insecure because I know I have a strength but I don’t want to play on it in fear of making someone else feel bad.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesian 2:10

I take great comfort in this verse and knowing that God equips each and every one of us differently. There are some ways that you can serve, that I can’t. There will be people that I can reach, that you can’t. There will be something that someone can do to serve the kingdom that neither of us can do! When I realized, I mean really realized that each of us has a mission and a strength that is God given that NO ONE can take away, I felt confident in using it in ministry, my relationships and even at work.

I found out that FORGIVENESS was NECESSARY

At the root of my commitment (heart) issue, was a grave lack of forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital in this life, whether someone asks for it or not. Sometimes, I don’t want to commitment because I’m angry. Because “They did this to me sooo, too bad, I can’t help them”.  Imagine if that’s what God’s attitude was towards us? We’d be in major trouble.

Forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

People struggle with commitment and saying “yes” in so many ways. I just wanted to share a little bit of what I had been through and some things that continue to help me navigate ministry and my personal responsibilities.

I hope this blog helps someone <3

Love,

An Honest Girl

God’s Exemplary Girl

1 Corinthians 1:8, “He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

As I reflect on what it means to be blameless, I think about Jesus. 

The dictionary describes blameless as innocent of wrongdoing.   Some other words described are:

Exemplary
Perfect
Virtuous
Pure
Faultless
and Squeaky Clean

I’d like to focus on the word exemplary, which means serving as a desirable model and representing the best of its kind.  

In this world we see many images of what might seem to look like a perfect life, some of which is having a job we love, dating and marrying a great guy before turning 25, having children before 30, living in our dream home with a white picket fence, having a knock out body and the list goes on. But when we look at the Word of God, Jesus’ life did not describe any of this.  Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”

I’d like to point out three things these verses reflect: 

1. Walk in love (John 13:34)
2. Offer your life to God daily (Matthew 16:24)
3. Smell like Jesus (2 Corinthians 2:15)

First, we must walk in love.  John 13:34 says, “ A new commandment I give you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you. “Yes, that means even those difficult people God allows in our lives to mold love in us. Yes, it means that person God has been nudging us to forgive. But how can I walk in love?  This brings us to our next point...

By offering our lives daily to Christ.  Matthew 16:24 says, “Then Jesus said to his disciples, if anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself daily, and take up his cross and follow me.” It takes daily surrender on our part. Every single day we will encounter something that will test our faith and bring us to our knees and these challenges prove to us that we cannot do it on our own strength. We need Jesus! We need His Holy Spirit to guide our every step. 

And lastly, we need to smell like Jesus. What does that mean?  Have you ever sprayed yourself with perfume or body splash (my favorite is Love Spell by Victoria’s Secret)  and when you walk into a room you get compliments on that great scent?  It should be the same with our spiritual lives. Whenever we walk into a room, people should smell love, grace, patience, a heart for sinners to be saved. They should smell God all over us. 2 Corinthians 2:15 says, “for we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.” What do others smell when they’re around us? Is it a bad attitude? Unforgiveness? Is it a foul scent spiritually? Or do they smell the sweet aroma of Christ in us? Only we can examine our hearts and answer this. The great thing is that God can turn things around for us when we give ourselves to Him. Lamentations 3:40, says, “Let  us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.”

To lead a blameless life is to be the example Jesus was in love, in the denial of his life to serve others and with the impact (fragrance) He left when He walked into a room.

I challenge you to lead a blameless life not by trying to be perfect or holier than thou, but just ask Jesus daily, “God, make me more like you. I want more of you and less of me.”

I assure you, my dear sisters, that when you purpose in your hearts to live totally surrendered to God,  everything else will fall right into place, according to his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Prayer:
Lord, forgive us for trying to do things on our own strength. We surrender our lives to you. Make us more like Jesus so that we can love and forgive as He did and lead an exemplary life where we can serve as His desirable representatives and reflect the best of His kind.  

In Jesus name, Amen.

Blessings,
Jeanette Mercado
 

Blameless

When I think of blameless the words impossible, out of reach and unrealistic come to mind. Placing the blame on something, someone or our circumstances seem to be a knee-jerk reaction derived from the fall. You know the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. In the garden, the serpent first tempts Eve and she eats the forbidden fruit and offers some to Adam, who then partakes of it. When God finds them hiding in the bushes and calls them out, He asks them to explain. It’s a setup. God is all-knowing, of course, He already knew what had happened. But, He wanted them to fess up. The problem was that instead of confessing to what they did, Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent. They sinned and didn’t know how to recover. Been there, and done that.

Here is the dilemma with blame- you must direct it towards something or someone in order to satisfy its purpose. And naturally, we either place it on others or on ourselves. Oftentimes, we choose the latter being the most debilitating of the two. But blame does not bring about resolution nor healing. We place blame so as to hide in the bushes of our bad decisions- as a self-preservation mechanism. We do not want to be sought out, found out, or called out. We do not want to be known because it would open us up to endless opportunities to be let down and hurt. Blame is real, possible and within reach.

This is why I struggle so much with learning to walk blamelessly. Oftentimes, I blame myself for everything that goes wrong in my life. I blame myself for glazed over friendships, for overworking myself, for falling short time and time again. It’s just so easy to blame myself for not being able to perform at others expectations. I blame others for things that happened in my life that I am so deeply ashamed of. And I blame others for not meeting my high expectations. So, I hide behind the smile, the reputation, the title, the status, the busy-ness. I hide so that the brokenness deep down inside would not be revealed. The brokenness that I attribute as weakness.

But, God.

He knows it all and loves us still. And just as God called out Adam and Eve from the bushes, He calls us out from hiding. He calls us out, not to blame us, like the accuser. No. He calls us out to pull us into a deeper relationship with Him. Just as a surgeon must cut cancer out of a body in order to save it, Jesus cuts out the sin that will slowly eat away at us until death. The calling out process is so painful, excruciating. But it is for our own good. Our brokenness only reveals the deeper need for a mender. Our frailties reveal the need for His perfect strength. He is the only one that can remove the blame, heal us, strengthen us, save us and secure our steps so that we won’t slip into hiding again. God is He who makes our way blameless. Be encouraged that you don't have to live in yours or others blame no more. 

Psalm 18

31For who is God, but the Lord?

  And who is a rock, except our God?—

32 the God who equipped me with strength

  and made my way blameless.

33 He made my feet like the feet of a deer

  and set me secure on the heights.

34 He trains my hands for war, 

  so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

35 You have given me the shield of your salvation,

  and your right hand supported me,

  and your gentleness made me great.

36 You gave a wide place for my steps under me,

  and my feet did not slip.

-Mayra

Permissible vs. Beneficial

The fall is starting to creep in and many of you may find yourselves starting a new year in junior high school, high school, and college. For others, you may be starting a new season at your job or experiencing changes in obligations. These changes signify a step forward and an opportunity for growth.

As I have gotten older, I've been given more freedom to choose but experienced the increasing anxiety of deciding what is best for me. How do I know that I am making the best choice? Is it okay if my intentions are right? What are the consequences? So if you are like me and you're struggling to make decisions in this season, I want you to give you permission to stop worrying so much about what is right and wrong. Instead, I want to challenge you to reflect on what is permissible vs. what is beneficial.

23 You say, “I am allowed to do anything” but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. 24 Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23 NLT.

In the past couple of weeks, these verses have been playing over and over in my mind.

There have been times where I have been listened to a certain kind of music or watched a certain show that has really affected me. Afterwards, I realized that I didn't do anything bad but I didn't feel good either. It did not add to what I believe or helped me to encourage other people around me. I wasn't sinning, but it didn't bring me closer to God. That's what made those decisions the wrong choices for me. As a Christian, is my heart truly in that place to impact the culture, or am I being impacted by the culture?

You might feel like instead of taking the time to hear from God you took on another obligation that you are bogged down by. Maybe dropping unnecessary commitments will you help you to find out why you are feeling so depressed. It's not a bad thing being involved in all these ministries for the glory of the Lord but if you are struggling to get by, it might be best for you to invest in some alone time with God during this season.

It's up to you. You can join that club, sorority, or say yes to that job opportunity. You can say yes to the guy who's asking to be your boyfriend. However, make sure these decisions are not taking you away from the focus of your life and what you are called to do. As long as you are inviting the Holy Spirit into your life and into your decisions, you will know which choice is best for you and best for those around you. God has a plan for you. He has his best plans in place for you no matter what decision you choose. But your choices may not allow for His purpose to grow if you are never spending time with Him.

So I pray that in this season before you make a decision, you reflect on these two questions:

1) Will it help me to do my best?

2) Will it encourage someone to sin?

After answering these questions truthfully or with the help of a wise mentor, I'm sure the gray areas will be made clearer for you. As you honor God by submitting to His best, He will continue to bless you and keep you.

The Best Is Yet To Come,

Eleny

Changing Fear to Faith

Since childhood I can recall knowing real fear in my heart. As I got older the same fears remained and others developed like singleness, never graduating college, and a future career. I could never truly trust friends with my whole life because in the back of my mind I already feared and expected their betrayal. To cope, I would hurt others first with something as small as a sarcastic response or a cutting sentence. If I got to you first, you had no chance of getting to me.

A couple weeks ago, I was on my way to work and I got into a car accident. Two weeks after someone broke one of our car windows during the night. All the while I was not able to qualify for a summer position at my workplace and don’t know what I’ll be doing for work this summer.

In this season I’ve been blessed by God to have my health and safety but still have had to go through things that I really thought would paralyze me in fear. God is still working on me but I want to share what is helping me leave fear behind and step out in faith.

1. Know what the Bible says about fear.

These four verses are my quick reminders of who God is, who I am and that this kind of fear has no place in my life. I have them handy and know that when the fear rises I need to get these out and declare God’s truth over my life. 

• Psalms 56:3-4 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?
• Romans 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
• 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
• John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

2. Find the source

A lot of my fears stem from the need for control. I know when something has the potential to be out of control that’s when I obsess over it or completely try to block it out. Not dealt with, my control issues turn into fear issues. I try and look at what it is I’m feeling scared about and work backwards from there.

3. Continue to move forward

The first thing that comes to mind is “do it afraid”. I love that saying because if we allow fear and doubt to control us there will never be a time for action. Sometimes you just have to get going with what you got. 2 weeks ago I was having such a rough time getting to church and during the sermon Pastor Josh said, “God is going to meet you, but we learn more in a place of fear and weakness than we ever will in a place of success.” It increased my faith in my situation knowing God is teaching me through my fears.

If you struggle with any kind of fear know that it isn’t God’s plan for you. He created you and adopted you as a daughter so call on him as your Father waiting to rescue you from your fear.

With Love

Mariely

Confessions of a Loner and the Journey of Finding Community

             Growing up, I would have a few friends in school here and there but avoided all social interactions outside of school. So many times people would invite me to places, I would agree to meet and never show up. Others would call me to chat after school but I always kept it to a minimum and never returned the call. I had very low self-esteem and felt no courage to build relationships with others. The relationships I made when I was younger never lasted long because I didn't have good friends or I didn't put in the work. I had many friendships throughout the years that were one sided and I was content with that because it meant that I didn't have to be transparent about what I was going through. I was comfortable with being a loner and focused on my school work, goals, or projects that I worked on at home.

         When I wanted to have fun with girls and guys around my age, I always piggybacked on my sibling's plans with friends, especially with my younger sister. My sister is three years younger than me and is one of the most outgoing and intriguing people I know. We were close enough in age that I was able to involve myself in her plans with people and spend time with others when I was up to it. I suffered from social anxiety, so she always made it easy for me to enjoy parties, random trips, and even vacations because she was the one who set things up and made these things happen. For many years, I was satisfied with her doing all the work with people while I got to just enjoy all the highlights those relationships had to offer. I found the work of relationships to be tedious and draining. I believed that I wasn't that interesting so I enjoyed being in groups and having the all attention off of me. The attention was almost always on my sister. It was also appealing to be the person who was always neutral in any group situation, never having dealt with personal disagreements and having people always seeing the best of me. To many people, I was non-threatening, likable, funny and shy. In other words, I was content in being Switzerland.

         In recent years, I realized that I was very unhappy with the way things were as far as my relationships. When times were difficult, I had friendships that were either not benefical or were good people but I wasn't investing enough into our relationship. And so, I would go through rough seasons feeling alone and hopeless. Over the years I've developed a strong friendship with my now husband. It has helped me to learn about being honest, transparent and dependable in a friendship. Still, I realize that marriage isn't the solution to overall relational contentment. We were made to develop a loving and growing relationship with Christ and community.

        As of late, God has been impressing upon my heart to be intentional in my relationships with others. Recently my focus has been strengthening my friendships within my community. I have learned the hard way that I cannot be who God calls me if I am a loner. I need to be involved in a community of people in order to grow. And it doesn't just stop there. I must be honest with others and be willing to show the vulnerable parts of myself. As we grow closer to the right people, we begin to sharpen each other in our pursuit of God.

So what does a healthy community look like? 

1) Mentors - You need someone who is older in age and wiser that will guide you in your Christian walk. As you grow from a teenager, to a young adult, a wife or a mom it is important that you have someone who has experienced those circumstances and can guide you with godly counsel. It must be someone of integrity that you can trust. They will be helping you to navigate circumstances and situations with wisdom and prayer. These relationships will help you to be accountable to your calling.

2) True Friendships - Teenagers and young adults usually have a lot of acquaintances. It makes sense because you're experiencing things with groups of people. However, don't make these relationships your core focus. You need to establish and maintain godly friendships with people you admire and enjoy being around. Solid friendships are with people of the same gender as you that are going through similar seasons in life. They are not perfect but they are honest, open, God fearing individuals that care about you. They are people that add to your life instead of depleting it. A good indicator of a true godly friend is that you feel better after spending time with them. At times, you might have to do more work than the other person but you will always be encouraged and sharpened by their friendship.

3) Discipleship - We are also called to be there for others and encourage them in their Christian walk. I remember a couple of years ago when I worked at my church as a secretary. One of my favorite memories was the talks I had with younger girls that would stop by the office after school. They opened up to me and shared a lot of the things they were experiencing and sometimes asked for advice. I didn't know everything about the bible but I had many experiences to share and a passion for seeing them grow in their Christian walk. Through listening and advising them I had strengthened their faith and mine. I was also reminded of all the things God had done for me. 

I encourage you to carve out time to listen and encourage someone younger in age or in the faith at church, school, within your family or maybe at work. Make yourself available to listen and to impart to them what you have learned from your relationship with Jesus. It is important to know that this relationship may grow into a friendship but it is not where you would necessarily divulge on personal circumstances. That is why you have your mentors and true friendships established as support and counsel.

     If you can relate to my story, I hope you know you are not alone. I'm still working on my messy life even as an adult. You may not find your community tomorrow or a month from now. Commit to start small. Do what you can with the people that surround you. Pray about the relationships in your life and that God would give you clarity about them. I believed those prayers have been answered after months of asking for godly friendships. You are special and have unique traits God has given you that people are waiting to be blessed by. Do not give into a life of loneliness, everyone deserves the experience of growing and serving within a community.

"24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT)

The best is yet to come,

Eleny

True Beauty

1 Corinthians 13:12 "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Many times I've looked at myself and felt disappointed with what I saw. My forehead is too big, my hair texture rough, my nose is too long, I have so many pimples, my teeth have a slight overbite, I'm too fat, I hate my body, and the list goes on.

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and had similar thoughts?

Oftentimes, as teens and adults, we go through moments of insecurity. We don't feel pretty enough, talented enough, smart enough. But who are we trying to impress?  What are we trying to prove?

When I think about the Bible, I see it as God's promise book for you and for me.  I'm sure many people in your life have broken promises to you, but, we can rest assured that God's promises for us are true.  Let's take a look at some of those promises:

When I feel like I'm not pretty enough…

God's word says:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139:14

When I feel like God has forgotten about me…

God's word says:

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.  Isaiah 49:16

When I feel alone and discouraged…

God's word says:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

When I feel pressure to give up my purity…

God's word says:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20

When I no longer want to live…

God's word says:

I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.  Psalm 118:17

We serve a mighty God who loves us just as we are.  His Word says, He created us in His own image (Genesis 1:27).

He loves us so much that He died for you and for me.  So next time we take a look in the mirror and want to point out every flaw we many have, let us remember we are fearfully and wonderfully created in God's image and God does not make any mistakes.

In order for us to embrace our true beauty in Christ, we must believe His Word.  People will have many negative opinions of us.  They might make fun of our style, personality, the way we look and the list goes on.  Our job is to love and pray for them and stand confidently on the promises of God's Word.

God's opinion of us is what really matters and guess what?

He thinks you are beautiful!

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

We do not fight this battle on our own, so let us encourage one another to believe the promises of God for our lives and see ourselves as the beautiful daughters He created us to be.

Blessings,
Jeanette Mercado

Where is your focus?

What we focus on can make or break us. For most of my life, I was always focused on the negative things and things I didn’t like about myself. I realized it was affecting me more as I got older; maybe because I was maturing and becoming more aware of my faults. And yes, I know the bible says that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, and that God created me for something good and that all sounds beautiful, but I really didn’t believe it.

So let me share a little about me. I grew up in church. I’ve gone to church my entire life, but it was just that. There was no real relationship between God and me. During hard times I would seek him and then when everything seemed to be going a little better I would be back to my old habits. I got tired of this hot and cold relationship I had with God, but I didn’t know how to turn it around (key word I). The biggest problem here was that I was trying to change me instead of asking God to change me.

Since I was trying to do this change on my own, I constantly had negative thoughts in my head every time I tried to do better. My focus was always on, you’re not smart enough, you don’t know enough, you’re going to sound foolish, you will never be able to do it. I really felt all sorts of ways and these thoughts just constantly played in my head.  This affected me both spiritually and personally.  This was how I always felt at church, work or school. Self-confidence is something I have always struggled with.

So I got to a point where I really needed something different, I needed a change and that’s when my new journey began. Just two and a half years I truly made a conscious effort to continually and faithfully seek the Lord more. That means doing more than just being involved in church things and going to church during the week and on Sunday’s. It means more than just clapping and raising my hands to praise the Lord at the right moment. It means more than just reading the Bible and praying here and there and knowing just enough to get by. Yes, I have been in church my entire life and just two and a half years ago I truly made the decision to seek the Lord with all my mind, heart and soul. WHOA…SHOCKER! Yes, I know it’s sad, but it’s the reality for many. People can be in church day in and day out, be leaders, active members and look well put together and not truly have a personal relationship with the God. For some, and this was me, it becomes a routine, a part of life because that is all we know or it’s what we are used to.

So when I started this new journey, instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do and lacked, I began to focus on God and began praying more and asking God to work in me, to change me, to help me overcome my negativity. I began to read his word every day and began to read personal growth books to help me be a better person, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. And I can honestly say that I can see how God has been working in me and how I’ve changed in the past two and a half years. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m not where I used to be and I’m grateful to God for that because I know that he is in fact doing a good work in me.

So let’s refocus our thoughts and allow God to work in and through us. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, how long or how little you’ve been in church or how much you know or don’t know. What matters most to God is that you open up your heart to him and allow him to heal and mend the things that have crippled and held you down for so long. And while in the process of restoration always remember that you are loved, you are needed and you are wanted. We need what you carry on your life.  So if God has placed a longing within you, he will give you the strength, the courage, and the boldness to bring it forward. We just have to place our trust in him and he will do the rest.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite verses: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

Would love to hear from you and know your thoughts.  Let’s be vulnerable with each other.

What have you been focusing on that has put a barrier between you and God? What’s distracting you or keeping you from having a relationship with him?

God bless you always

Yesenia

Anxiety of the Future

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go.”

One of my biggest struggles, both past and present, is anxiety of the future. If you know me, you know I’m a planner (a strict one) and if something doesn’t go the way I planned I get very disappointed and irritated. At the beginning of 2016 God gave me a reality check, everything I had planned to be accomplish by mid-year was NOT happening. I knew wholeheartedly that He was asking me to let go and hand things over to Him. I had to fight hard to let go of the way I wanted the timeline of my life to go and hand it over to God without hesitation. Looking back that was probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to do aside from being obedient to what He was telling me to do. I had to let go of friendships, come face to face with certain things from my past, keep a job I no longer wanted to be at and step away from my comfort zones. To be honest, I was terrified but not because I thought God was going to mess me up, I knew He had my back (Isaiah 41:13), but because the elimination of these friendships and the trials that were ahead of me meant that I was going to be alone in the midst of the unknown.

I spent months doubting God. I thought I had made a mistake leaving behind the people He commanded me to because maybe He wouldn’t come through after all. Or maybe He would notice the pieces of my life were just too messy to clean up and move on. I seriously had nights where I would lie awake and ask myself what I had done or if I had heard God correctly. Deep down God knew as well as I did that I was asking myself these questions in order to fool myself into having a reason to say “this isn’t working, better luck next time” and just picking up where I had left off. Have you ever done a group project and just ended up doing all the work yourself because you didn’t want to relay on people and were scared of them messing up your grade? That is me. I am that girl. I actually did that this morning during my BIO 109 lab class. I let my partners think they have a say in the lab report but as soon as I’m alone with it I edit it to my own liking and that’s exactly what I was trying to pull on God. Of course I can’t pull a fast one on God though and even if I could, why would I want to? His word says that He has plans for us and that they are plans for good and not for disaster to give us a future and hope (Jeremiah 29:11). I was literally setting myself up with those questions of doubt. During this time, I prayed a lot about the things I still wanted to accomplish, about the desires of my heart, my worries and anxieties I still happened to stumble upon after so many years. Matthew 7:7 says “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you”, it’s important to be H.O.T.-  Honest, Open, and Transparent- with God during prayer so that He may be able to strengthen you where need be, just as Jesus prayed and was strengthen in in Luke 22:41-44. With these honest prayers came a lot of tears and things I didn’t even know I dealt with but I knew God would come through for me just as He did for Jesus on the Mount of Olives.

Within this time the trials came but loneliness did not accompany them. I was content in the Lord and I felt infinite with Him. I still do. I don’t want to say I have complete freedom of anxiety of the future because I don’t and yes I am still the biggest planner you’ll probably ever meet but I now know that God is in control and that I am not. With that came the understanding that no matter how many itineraries I make or how good I think my planning is, His plans are better and are above mine. You don’t notice too much of what God is doing while you’re in the middle of things but once it starts to settle and you see the beauty of his Hand within your life you’ll be in such awe that you’ll feel it physically and it is always going to be so much better than what you had planned for yourself.

Think about the season you are in right now, is God asking you to allow Him to take control of a situation? Whether it be a dating relationship, a friendship or maybe you’re like me and haven’t given God the space to have an active role in your life. I encourage you ladies to pray honest prayers to the Lord and to allow Him to do great things within you and your lives.

-Juliet Tejada

Broken but not Forsaken

“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” Psalm 34:18

 Brokenness hurts.

Experiencing a break up was the last thing I imagined myself going through. “He was the love of my life” I thought. “I wouldn't be able to live without him.” And in an instant it was over. Pain, hurt, confusion and loneliness began to take a huge toll in my life. I didn't know who I was anymore. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't help but ask God why. Why did he allow this to happen? But despite all the hurt and pain, it was in my time of brokenness and loneliness where I found God more than ever. It would be hypocritical of me to say I am completely healed but here is what I did learn:

1. The Lord loves the broken in heart, who draw close to him in their brokenness.

There is something about reaching a breaking point that causes us to seek the Lord more sincerely. At our greatest time of need, when we feel the most alone God is the closest to us. When we feel brokenness, God compensates (Isaiah 57:15). Brokenness has allowed me to be transparent with myself and with God. Bringing all my hurt and burdens to the Lord has allowed me to experience the Father’s love like no other. Being naked and real in the presence of God can be uncomfortable but so beneficial.  He desires our attention and intimacy. He desires us to be open and transparent with him. It’s in that time of vulnerability where Gods love engulfs us. His love is like no other (Jeremiah 31:3). No man, no friend can love you the way Christ loves you.

2.God breaks us to bless us.

He chips away anything that keeps us from finding our true life in him.

I thought I knew what true love was. I thought I knew who I was in Christ. It was until my time of brokenness where I realized my perception of love was wrong, who I thought I was is not who I am today. It took that time of intimacy with God to realize that he targets areas of our lives that we’re unwilling to submit to him. Perhaps it was an unhealthy relationship. It could be laziness thats stunting your spiritual growth. Or even a bad habit that’s standing in the way of experiencing the fullness of God. Our tendency is to hold tightly to these things because we believe it’s what we want. We’re convinced they please us by providing the joy, pleasure and fulfillment we seek. But God knows the truth. Only He can truly satisfy our deepest longings. All else is counterfeit to his will for our lives. God selects the tools it takes to break our self-sufficiency and causes us to turn to Him. When we give up our independence, we gain a new perspective of God’s plan and purpose for our lives. I can't help but think about Romans 8:28 “

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Notice the verse doesn't say SOME things work for the good of those who love him. It says ALL things; the good, and the bad. When situations don't feel like they are favorable they are.

There is purpose in brokenness!

 3. You can find wholeness through Christ.

Wholeness is what we want. Wholeness cannot be found in others, or even within ourselves. We are not defined by our feelings. We are not defined by the opinions of others or by our circumstances. We are not defined by our successes or failures. We are defined by God and God alone. He identifies us as his own ( 2 Corinthians 1:22). If we want to be whole in body, soul and spirit, we cannot try to be whole on our own. To overcome our brokenness we must realize that we have to be healed by a power greater than ourselves. I found myself trying to mend the broken pieces in my life on my own and was not successful. It was then when I came to the conclusion that the type of transformation that brings a sense of wholeness can only be done by God himself. Achieving a good degree of wholeness on your own strength and abilities will not work.

Only when we admit our need and ask God into our life, can God begin to make us whole. Only when we confess that we are broken can God heal us. Once we let go of self and place God at the center of our lives, everything else falls into place (Matthew 6:33).

 If you desire to be whole you must invite God into the deepest part of who you are - so that from the inside out, you can be transformed into the type of person God wants you to be.

4. Trust in His timing.

Like Ecclesiastes 3 says “There is a time for everything....  he has made everything beautiful in his time.” The process may be long and frustrating but know that God is the ultimate healer (Psalm 147:3). God is molding us and is chipping away at the things in our lives that do not belong. Like a diamond, we must go through incredible pressure, cleansing, and refining. The great aspect about this illustration is that the diamond shines bright and is worth so much more after the process.

When we understand God’s sovereignty over our lives we are able to have peace knowing this too shall pass. It is our natural instinct to do things in our time. But Gods plans may not always be our plans (Jeremiah 29:11). We are aware that we are not perfect and that we fall short of the glory of God but that his grace covers it all.So feeling broken doesn't mean we stay broken. We get back up stronger than ever and fulfill the calling God has over our lives.

So maybe you didn't experience a break up like I did.  Maybe you haven’t had traumatic life experiences or relationships but have been relying on your own strength to make it in life. Your pride caused you not to embrace the love of God in a deeply personal way, and in your will you choose to depend on yourself and not Jesus. You haven't yield control of your life to God so you are still not enjoying the deep inner peace and wholeness you could have. One thing I am certain about is that God delights in brokenness. He gives us strength in our time of weakness. Grace when we’re undeserving and love when we don’t feel it ( 2 Corinthians 12;9-10). There is peace knowing brokenness is only temporary and there is purpose and beauty behind it. And in his time we will flourish and be exactly who God has called us to be. 

Ariel Castillo 

Stay Gold, Be Bold

Being bold about your faith is not easy…

Like most high school, teenage girls could tell you, there are days amongst your peers you would rather not speak to anyone, Let alone share your faith with them. The world we live in now is very self-absorbed and the last thing that any hurting worldly person wants to hear is how there is a God so big and so great. People tend to feel that the presence of a “Big God” minimizes their own problems, and those who live in a life filled with problems, this might question their identity. So the question is, How can I be bold? Even when I don’t want to talk, even when people don’t want to listen. How can I, share my faith in this world so that it can resonate with others?

A simple acronym can shed light onto the path of being bold.

B- Be Bold and Believe~

    Have you ever heard someone talking about something they seemed to know nothing about? Did it make it harder to trust their judgment on the topic?

This is the same way. In order to testify to God’s love and mercy in your life, You must BELIEVE in God’s love and mercy and you need to be sure that you do. This starts with evaluating yourself and your life. What kind of life have you led because of God’s mercy? What situation have you been in that God has taken you out? What blessings do you have that you don’t deserve? But the ultimate question is

What price did you pay for the sins you freely commit every day?

And the answer is nothing. If you have no other reason to believe in God’s love and mercy, His son willingly dying on the cross for your sins is definitely a good reason to believe. Knowing and being positive about your Lord and the amazing things he has done for you, will attract people and make them curious about your faith.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ~ John 3:16

O- Be Bold and Overcome~

    Today, Society has so many standards to be met, and expectations to be fulfilled for young women. Something we must always remember is that what society perceives as “expected” or “normal” is not always, or more often than not, what the bible asks of us. Societies expectations can be frustrating, they are often unrealistic and are not in agreement with the bible. This can make it hard knowing where we stand as young women in this society. Being unable to rise to the bar of these standards can be extremely detrimental to how we perceive ourselves. Its important that we know who we are in God’s eyes, and to rise above what society wants and start reaching for what God wants. It’s time to empower one another as young women and start putting as much effort into fitting the credentials as women of God, rather than women of this world. It is time to overcome worldly social standards!

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will~ Romans 12:2 NIV

L- Be Bold and Let God~

    A flaw of this generation is that we demand control of every aspect of our lives, without control we feel anxiety, nervousness, and frustration. Almost as if we are out of touch with the things in our life. We must learn one simple yet hard lesson~ God is in control! He has this unimaginable overview of our life, he knows what had happened and what’s to come. He sees everything that’s coming your way and sometimes we don’t understand what he is doing but that’s okay, We will never fully understand God and we don’t have to know everything he is doing. Truth is, it is not our territory, Our job is to glorify him and spread his gospel here on earth. Whatever God’s plan may be, it is perfect and we just need to trust it. What God has called over your life is better than anything you could call for yourself. Trust what God has for you, Be bold and let him do what he needs to do in your life!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus~ Philippians 4:6-7

D- Be Bold and Defeat~

    This last point might be the most simple, yet the most difficult. In order to be bold, and step out in faith towards sharing the gospel, we must step away from our past and break the chains that have kept us in stagnant waters. I am a firm believer that our past sculpts and molds us into the person we are today, that God uses even the hardest moments in our lives for his own glory. However, If God has been gracious enough to move you out of your past situations, you must be faithful enough to stop living in them! God doesn’t renew your soul so you can continue to do the things that broke it in the first place. If you haven’t confronted past issues in your life, God is calling you to do so, so that the space it takes up in your heart, can be filled with the presence of God, which empowers us to be bold. The loss of any negative thing in your life, is not a loss, but a victory. Moving on can be hard but the past is the past, the past is defeated, and God hasn’t left anything in the past, that he wouldn’t be able to replace with something better in the future. Only if we are bold and defeat the past, are we able to move on to the blessings in the future.

    I pray, that each and every reader will be encouraged to be B.O.L.D, to step out in faith and believe, to overcome, to let God work, and to find the strength to defeat the things of the past. God Bless each of you. I pray for God's perfect will upon your life.

Jalynne Medina